Fourth month,
The doctor walks toward her, she notices how stiff the doctor was walking. She knew what he was going to say but was never truly prepared as she had hope earlier. The doctor tells her,
"I'm sorry -" before the doctor could go on any further, she breaks down in tears as her husband holds her, calming her already traumatized heart.
Her story,
Every day, she would prepare the satay meat for the evening as this was her passion. She would cut the beef and chicken to tiny slices, soon after she would stick the sliced food with the satay sticks. This is the custom of many Malaysians serving satays. Though one would argue if this really is her true passion but nonetheless, it brings happiness to her family. It almost became a ritual for her to wake up early in the morning where she would first send her daughter to school. She would kiss her husband goodbye as she goes off with the young one.
Still in her current job, her stable job in which cooking satay is not enough to feed the family; a cleaner by day, she forces herself to earn more not for herself but for the smile on her daughter's face.
The eldest son, now studying in university is far from home and far from her warmth. She knows that a local scholarship will suffice, she works for her son's bright future. She works hard as any individual would but she does so with a motherly touch.
Although her day job would rob her time from her family, she still makes time to feed the poor and needy just before she starts her passion- her business. She knows how hard it is to be poor. She knows not many individuals are as fortunate as she is. She grew up in a family of less fortunate but her parents would still manage to feed them. Be it day or night. Life was somehow bearable when her father was still around but like all things, everything has an expiry date.
Before her father left for the netherworld, she was already carrying a child. A love child of whom she had it with her then partner, Aril. Through many scoldings from both ends, the father and mother, she then decided to leave home. It resulted in eloping with her lover but it was a rather sad one as her partner did not show up. Tears fall but she knows it was already too late to go back home after what happened.
After carrying Anna for nine months, the child is invited to planet Earth with her presence. Unfortunately, at this time, the mother had already met someone whom she called her lover but judging by how things are at home, she had no choice but to send Anna for adoption. Her lover might be passionate in the first four months but his temper is something to be afraid of. Although he would not resort to physical but only time can tell. With a heavy heart, the adoption agent welcomed the child in his arms as Saidatul lets go of her. The only thing Anna has of her mother was a goodbye kiss.
The agent noticed how sadden Saidatul was, agreed to make a deal with the agency or foster parents. Even with such words, she was still sadden by her choice. A mother’s love can challenge even the Gods and shake the Earth.
Before she started her satay business, she was already on the verge of breaking it off with her lover. Not surprisingly, he resorted to violence when he found out that Saidatul was pregnant with a child, a baby boy. She went to the clinic to get a medical check-up because she notices how late her period was but the lover did not take it as a blessing. Instead, he sees it as a burden. As a result, he walks away from the responsibility but Saidatul’s determination was not broken. She fought through another seven months alone until she met her would be last lover. Only this time, they are married. He did not see the child as an abomination. He took the child in as if he was his own. The next two months were not without troubles but they managed to pull through.
Remember, the husband whom Saidatul would kiss before she would leave to her day job? Yes, it is none other than the current man in her life, Jamal. Saidatul's son who is brought into this planet is presented with love from his parents. Even his stepfather would treat the child as it was his very own flesh and blood. Saidatul broke down into tears when she realized she was loved.
After settling in their new abode, Saidatul decided that she would look for a job to provide an extra income for the household to the husband's dismay. Jamal wants her to be at home as he provides for the family but it is obvious that she would win this argument.
Many months into her day job, her boss, Martin notices how slow she has been in the past few weeks, decides to lay her off but she knows it would eventually lead to a permanent holiday. Already in her 30's, looking for another job would seem impossible with her current credential; high school certification would not be enough in this forever developing planet. Fortunately, with enough persistence and effort, she landed on a new job in a different company whom her friend suggested to her. The scope of her responsibilities were the same as her previous job.
This is when she decided that working as a cleaner will not cut it. She needs something to do in life. Something fulfilling. She remembers how happy her old man was when he was still alive and well selling satays. She wanted that same feeling but she was not confident in her satay cooking and making skills. She believes in nurture rather than nature but after many trials and errors, she discovered that she is indeed a natural.
The first day of business was also something to be laughed at as she was not fully prepared but to her, it was an exciting experience. Travel forward into her 40's, business seems to be blooming with more regulars visiting her satay stall. It was something out of a fairy tale but unlike those fairy tales, this is real life with real life consequences.
One rainy day, her son, her only son, Kamal named after Saidatul's late father was in an accident which instantly took the life of her potential daughter in-law's life and shortening Kamal's life with life threatening injuries. Both of his legs were crushed to the point of no return. His injuries were extensive as were his surgeries. The result of the accident not only took Saidatul's only son legs, it also resulted in his imminent coma.
First month,
Kamal still bedridden and in his dreamworld is accompanied by his stepfather who is worried from day to night knowing that his son's future looks bleak. Saidatul on the other hand, puts a pin on her satay business because she wants to be close to her son as much as possible. Her employer was an understanding man and allowed her to take a few days off, heck, even few weeks off to be with her son.
She hopes for great news to appear but all she get is nothing but the breathing pulse of her son through the life support.
Second month,
Her satay business begins to wane as her worries increases. The doctors have tried their best but it was evident, Kamal will not be able to walk if he were to came to from his coma.
"Ayang, let's go. You need rest." Saidatul's husband requested and wanted her to go back home to rest. Proper rest.
With much resistance, she finally gave in because she has other motherly responsibilities; to send her younger daughter to school as well as her working to get income for the household.
News from the doctors were always the same. Though this time, there were signs of movements coming from Kamal. Saidatul being a hopeful mother hopes for the best. She prays to God that her son would pull through from his coma.
Third month,
Kamal’s body was rejecting him, making it very hard for him to recover. The doctors did all they could but it was obvious that even with him unconscious, he would still feel the pain as would his mother. It was at this time, that Saidatul, completely put a huge pin on both her day job and her satay business. Three months down the line, it was nothing but bad news.
Many of her regulars would call her, asking about her son and when would she be back. Everyone was waiting for her and still is. She carries herself one day, trying to get back into business but all she could ever think of his poor boy. She cries to herself while preparing the satays only for it to be tainted with her sadness.
Return from Jupiter
She walks like June, still and cold but after many weeks of recuperating from her son’s funeral ceremony, she found peace in herself. The peace to not give up and not give in to sorrow. Her husband helped her in any way he can. Provided much consolation and motivation to get her back on her feet. She continues her life as she would have prior to the accident and with her head held high.
“I love your satays mama. It’s so sedap.”
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